Editor’s Note: This was originally published for FANGORIA on January 12, 2007, and we’re proud to share it as part of The Gingold Files.
It’s business as usual these days for a major-studio horror film to forego advance critics’ screenings, but what does it say when the studio won’t even allow a reviewer to attend a night-before promo screening? That suggests a lack of faith in the product—one already expressed by the fact that Primeval, which is about a giant crocodile on a rampage, is being sold as a serial-killer film. Still, there was a bit of reason to hold out hope; almost exactly a decade ago, The Relic was smokescreened as the story of “a mysterious killer” and turned out to be a superior creature feature. Primeval, on the other hand, will likely disappoint both serial-slaughter fans and nature-amok buffs with its pokey pacing and too-sporadic reptile attacks.
The “inspired by the true story” pitch the studio is employing at least turns out to be genuine: There apparently really is a big croc, dubbed “Gustave” by the locals, that has claimed numerous victims in and around an African river. When the monster gobbles up an American woman who’s been investigating its slaughter, the fictional and redundantly named Network News Channel sends a small group down to the Dark Continent to cover the story—and, rather presumptuously, to capture Gustave. The team consists of Tim Manfrey (Dominic Purcell), who’s reluctant to go and spends a good deal of the running time in what can best be described as a state of apathy, not the most compelling trait for a horror/action protagonist; Aviva Masters (Brooke Langton), on hand to provide a voice of conscience and a bit of skin; and cameraman Steven Johnson (Orlando Jones), the designated Wisecracking Black Guy whose refusal to take much seriously doesn’t help the tension crackle either. “This shit is embarrassing,” he says during a scene where he tries to teach hip-hop beats to tribal musicians, and he ain’t kidding.
Once in Africa, the trio head up the river with TV naturalist Collins (Gideon Emery) and local hunter Krieg (Jurgen Prochnow), who are handy for the de rigueur capture-the-beast-vs.-kill-it debates. If it sounds like actual African characters are marginalized in the script (by the Terminator 3 team of John Brancato and Michael Ferris), don’t you worry: The movie does pay lip service to decrying the plight of the civil war-torn region, kinda like Blood Diamond with lots of actual blood. For the region our intrepid band heads into is under the control of a warlord who calls himself “Little Gustave” to strike fear into the hearts of the locals—and since his soldiers, on evidence of the movie, are terrible shots, he needs all the help he can get in that department. Nor does the attempt to evoke sympathy for the beleaguered natives sit well alongside Jones lines like “Slavery was a good thing—anything you gotta do to get the fuck out of Africa is OK by me.” No wonder the croc tries to eat him a few moments later.
As if to compensate for Little Gustave’s men being unable to hit the broad side of a barn, the characters do everything they can to serve themselves up to Big Gustave, like creeping into a cage stocked with dead-animal bait in the middle of the night or, once the aquatic animal’s threat has become clear, taking “refuge” on a fishing hut surrounded by water and supported by easily breakable stilts. The monster itself, when it finally starts making appearances after lurking offscreen for the movie’s first half, is brought to life via creditable digital FX supervised by Paul Linden (with the KNB EFX boys on gore duty). Unfortunately, its attacks and most of the other action setpieces are presented by director Michael Katleman (a veteran of TV shows like Dark Angel, Smallville and Tru Calling) in a flurry of fast cuts and shaky-cam shots that make it difficult to get a bead on what’s happening.
What does quickly become clear is that this is yet another movie monster whose taste runs primarily toward bad people and supporting characters, and the storyline eventually depends on a thoroughly implausible plot twist to motivate its final act. Primeval was reportedly rushed into theaters in order to beat Dimension’s similarly themed Rogue to the punch, even though the latter got bumped out of its original February 2 slot while the studio does its usual tinkering. But even a bowdlerized Rogue is likely to have more thrills and dramatic interest than the croc that’s on screens now.
